LIFE TO THE RIGHT OF HOLLYWOOD
by
Joseph Lindsey

If David Sedaris were a conservative heterosexual and had written an adaptation of What Makes Sammy Run?, then you’d have LIFE TO THE RIGHT OF HOLLYWOOD

A LITTLE ABOUT THE BOOK

Set to the backdrop of the Bush/Kerry election and Iraq war the story is told through the lens of rags to riches actor Clinton Feast. Feast is catapulted into Hollywood celebrity with an Oscar nod for staring in a film adaptation of Kafka’s Metamorphosis, where he plays not a salesman who wakes as a bug, but a Wall Street broker turned to shit. However fame and fortune are placed in jeopardy when the actor's conservative underpinnings threaten to out-him as a Republican in La La Land. With his credibility drawn into question by Hollywood’s Liberal power players he hides in the political closet so as to save his shot at an Oscar. It’s a politically incorrect satire on Hollywood hypocrisy that takes the reader on a magically absurd and darkly humorous journey through tinsel town.

A BIT ABOUT THE AUTHOR

Working in Hollywood for more than a decade as an actor and writer Joseph starred in such films as AMONGST FRIENDS, CAUGHT UP and PUBLIC ENEMIES. He wrote over fifteen independent and studio screenplays of which include the titles WINNING AT WATERLOO, FELLOWS TEXAS and the now in development film THE THRILL IS GONE. He is currently a regular contributor to the political pop culture blog BIG HOLLYWOOD where my column reaches over a hundred thousand readers per week.

A FULL SYNOPSIS OF THE BOOK

Clinton Feast leans to the right of most his peers, and as he stands on the cliff of an extended youth about to be pushed into his thirtieth year he’s accomplished no more than the ability to breathe in and out. With a spare bicycle tire beginning to form just under his navel, he’s a down-and-out and out-of-work actor. Fired by his talent manager to focus on a gay client who plays a singing alley cat on Broadway, and dumped by his PETA friendly girlfriend for a more inspiring relationship with a dog, he’s a flaccid thespian convinced his greatest review will come in the form of a New York Times obituary.

That is, until Clinton reluctantly accepts the lead-role in “Turdmorphosis,” the small indie film that tells the tall tale of a Wall Street broker whose greediness festers into overwhelming guilt and shame, until he wakes one morning as a living, breathing, walking, talking turd. With his real-life feelings mirroring that of the prosthetic crap-wrap suit he‘s forced to squeeze inside of to play the fecal role, Clinton plunges himself into his work and is ultimately embraced by Hollywood with an Oscar nomination.

Its then that things get weird. It’s a presidential election year and Clinton has a dirty little secret, he’s a Republican. The risk of him being outed as a member of the GOP, and a thespian who voted for W. once before, threatens his shot at international fame as he’s set to play Captain America in a summer blockbuster.

Armed only with a knitted hemp bracelet with the acronym W.W.M.D. (“What Would Mickey Do?” Mickey Rourke that is.) and his ability to weave the real world through an imaginary screenplay in his head, Clinton is forced to find his own transformation inside a sewer of silicone injected and sequined wrapped global know it all actors, agents, producers, publicist and fans.

Set to the back drop of the Bush/Kerry elections amidst the Iraq war, as seen through the lens of Tinsel town, Clinton Feast is a modern day retelling of Kafka’s “Metamorphosis.” It’s a scathing satire on Hollywood hypocrisy that takes a huge wipe of celebrity royalty, flushes them down the toilet and doesn’t replace the paper roll when done.

HOW CONTACT THE AUTHOR

Joseph Lindsey
Go on, just call me (720) 201-6153
E-mail winatwaterloo@gmail.com
91,000 words ©
World rights available